Scene 8: “Family of Origin”
Steve” Let’s not forget that you are a good person, kind-hearted and caring. I’m sure you worked hard to be the good person you are. But shouldn’t you give your parents and caregivers thanks for the good job they did too. I have to give an awful lot of credit in this day and age to parents who have successfully brought up children who don’t get messed up with drugs, etc. I’m sure of one thing: it wasn’t easy.
“But similarly if we have any negative habits is it possible we got some of them growing up in our family?
“So how would that work?“
Patti: “Many psychologists have noticed some attitudes and habits are often passed down to the next genertion… but often in different forms. Your negativity can be different from your parents’. For example, in parenting many people sometimes try hard to do just the opposite of what their parents did so they go to an opposite extreme. The same might be true of the next generation after you.
“Let’s stop right here and recognize that our parents may have been lucky to survive and put aside the disincentives to be able to get up in the morning and get us our bowl of corn flakes. OK so did your parents present with any of the five negative traits? Often times parents themselves will have opposite traits between themselves. Did one of your parents have a temper? So was the other too meek? Was one out of touch? Did one of them flaunt their skills and talents becoming the center of the family? Did one of them have low self esteem and not engage enough?
“You may have a negative habit different from your caregiver’s.
“In some families caregivers may not have had the time to model good engagement skills so you may not be used to responding “Really?” “Tell me more.”
Joe: “Now that we know what negativity is and where some of it may come from we can be more conscious of not passing too much down to the next generation.”